Things you don’t want to hear from Technical Support

• "Do you have a sledgehammer or a brick handy?"


• * "That's right, not even McGyver could fix it."


• * "So -- what are you wearing?"


• * "Duuuuuude! Bummer!"


• * "Looks like you're gonna need some new dilithium crystals, Cap'n."


• * "Press 1 for Support. Press 2 if you're with 60 Minutes. Press 3 if you're with the FTC."


• * "We can fix this, but you're gonna need a butter knife, a roll of duct tape, and a car battery."


• * "In layman's terms, we call that the Hindenburg Effect."


• * "Hold on a second... Mom! Timmy's hitting me!"


• * "Okay, turn to page 523 in your copy of Dianetics."


• * "Please hold for Mr. Gates' attorney."

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