Monday, October 08, 2007

For Northerners Who Move South....

A lot of people come to Florida this time of year and stay for the winter, then had back north in the springtime.   Down here they’re called snowbirds.  From Miss Cellania comes the following post about northerners who move south…..



  • In the South: If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly.  Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.

  • Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store....do not buy food at this store.

  • Get used to hearing "You ain't from round here, are ya?"

  • Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later on how to use it.

  • Don't be worried at not understanding what people are saying. They can't understand you either. The first Southern statement to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "big'ol," truck or big'ol" boy. Most Northerners begin their Southern-influenced dialect this way. All of them are in denial about it.

  • The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper.

  • Be advised that "He needed killin" is a valid defense here.

  • If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this," you should stay out of the way. These are likely to be the last words he'll ever say.

  • If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the smallest accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It doesn't matter whether you need anything or not. You just have to go there.

  • Do not be surprised to find that 10-year olds own their own shotguns,  they are proficient marksmen, and their mammas taught them how to aim

  • In the South, we have found that the best way to grow a lush green lawn is to pour gravel on it and call it a driveway.

  • AND REMEMBER: If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't  think we will accept them as Southerners. After all, if the cat had kittens  in the oven, we wouldn't call 'em biscuits.

4 comments:

Miss Cellania said...

I can relate to that lush green lawn growing in the driveway.

But I also have a cat named Biscuit. Don't know if he was born in an oven or not.

Anonymous said...

I thought Miss C was about 16 or 17 from this picture. I went to her website and she is actually old enough to lust after. XOXOXO

Anonymous said...

WOW YOU SOUTHERNERS ARE STUPID BUT FUNNY!AND IM FROM VERMONT AND WE ARE BETTER THAN SOUTHERNERS ALL THE NORTHERN STATES ARE BETTER THAT THE FUCKED UP SOUTH!WE ARE SMARTER FASTER AND WE KNOW HOW TO SPELL YA'LL JUST TO LET YOU GUYS KNOW IT'S NOT SPELLED YAWL!HAHA THICKHEADED SOUTHERNERS

Anonymous said...

i agree with the person above me southerners are stupid fucked up lazy ass people and thats the truth im from new hampshire