The Top 10 Signs You've Joined A Cheap HMO

10.  Annual breast exam conducted at Hooters.
 9.   Directions to your doctor's office include, "take a left when you enter the trailer park".
 8.  Tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicle.
 7.  Only proctologist in the plan is Gus from Roto-Rooter.
 6.  Your "primary care physician" is wearing the pants you gave to Goodwill last month.
 5.  Only item listed under Preventive Care coverage is "an apple a day".
 4.  "Patient responsible for 200% of out-of-network charges" is not a typo.
 3.  The only expense covered 100% is embalming.
 2.  With your last HMO, your Prozac didn't come in different colors with little "m's" on them. 

And the Number 1 Sign You've Joined a Cheap HMO.....

1. You ask for Viagra.  You get a Popsicle stick and duct tape.

Thanks Susan