- He's replaced all the elves with scantily clad Swedish exchange students.
- Mrs. Claus calls him "that fat freak in the red underwear".
- He traded in his sleigh for a van with a waterbed.
- He's been spending a little too much time with the life-sized Holiday Barbie.
- His new live-in personal elf valet, Steve.
- Mrs. Claus having cybersex relationship with accountant from New Jersey.
- He knows when she's been sleeping, he knows when she's awake, because he's bugged the bedroom.
- Lately, she keeps "forgetting" to tie her robe when she brings the elves their morning coffee.
- Stockings aren't the only things he's been nailing in front of the fireplace.
- Not a creature is stirring in Santa's pants.
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Posted 5:47 PM