Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Signs Santa Has Marriage Problems

  •  He's replaced all the elves with scantily clad Swedish exchange students.

  • Mrs. Claus calls him "that fat freak in the red underwear".

  • He traded in his sleigh for a van with a waterbed.

  • He's been spending a little too much time with the life-sized Holiday Barbie.

  • His new live-in personal elf valet, Steve.

  • Mrs. Claus having cybersex relationship with accountant from New Jersey.

  • He knows when she's been sleeping, he knows when she's awake, because he's bugged the bedroom.

  • Lately, she keeps "forgetting" to tie her robe when she brings the elves their morning coffee.

  • Stockings aren't the only things he's been nailing in front of the fireplace.

  • Not a creature is stirring in Santa's pants.


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