Why, why, why?

• Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak? 
• Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough? 
• Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? 
• Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle? 
• Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection? 
• Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? 
• Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
• Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? 
• Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"? 
• If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes? 
• Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white? 
• Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
• Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
• Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
• Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try? 
• How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
• When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"
• Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
• In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
• How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
• The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness.  Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

Thanks Phyllis