Thursday, January 26, 2006

Why, why, why?

  • Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak? 
  • Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough? 
  • Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? 
  • Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle? 
  • Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection? 
  • Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? 
  • Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
  • Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? 
  • Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"? 
  • If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes? 
  • Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white? 
  • Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
  • Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
  • Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
  • Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try? 
  • How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
  • When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"
  • Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
  • In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
  • How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
  • The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness.  Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

Thanks Phyllis

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Cool !

Anonymous said...

ass

Anonymous said...

woa woa woa!

Anonymous said...

nice job! keep up the good work

ELVIS said...

WHY???