Thursday, March 23, 2006

Jesus vs Elvis

Elvis JesusJesus said: "Love thy neighbor." (Matthew 22:39)
Elvis said: "Don't be cruel." (RCA, 1956)

Jesus is the Lord's shepherd.
Elvis dated Cybil Shepherd.

Jesus is part of the Trinity.
Elvis' first band was a trio.

Jesus walked on water. (Matthew 14:25)
Elvis surfed. (Blue Hawaii, Paramount, 1965)

Jesus' entourage, the Apostles, had 12 members.
Elvis' entourage, the Memphis Mafia, had 12 members.

Jesus was resurrected.
Elvis had the famous 1968 "comeback" TV special.

Jesus said, "If any man thirst, let him come unto me, and drink." (John 7:37)
Elvis said, "Drinks on me!" (Jailhouse Rock, MGM, 1957)

Jesus fasted for 40 days and nights.
Elvis had irregular eating habits. (e.g. 5 banana splits for breakfast.)

Jesus is a Capricorn. (December 25)
Elvis is a Capricorn. (January 8)

Matthew was one of Jesus' many biographers. (The Gospel According to Matthew)
Neil Matthews was one of Elvis' many biographers. (Elvis: A Golden Tribute)

"Jesus countenance was like lightning, and his raiment white as snow." (Matthew 28:3)
Elvis wore snow-white jumpsuits with lightning bolts.

Jesus lived in a state of grace in a near eastern land.
Elvis lived in Graceland in a nearly eastern state.

Mary, an important woman in Jesus' life, had an immaculate conception.
Priscilla, an important woman in Elvis' life, went to Immaculate Conception High School.

Jesus was first and foremost the Son of God.
Elvis first recorded with Sun studios, which today are still considered to be his foremost recordings.

Jesus was the Lamb of God.
Elvis had mutton chop sideburns.

Jesus' Father is everywhere.
Elvis' father was a drifter, and moved around quite a bit.

Jesus was a carpenter.
Elvis' favorite high school class was wood shop.

Jesus wore a crown of thorns.
Elvis wore Royal Crown hair styler.

Jesus is often depicted in pictures with a halo that looks like a gold plate.
Elvis' face is often depicted on a plate with gold trim and sold through TV.

Jesus said: "Man shall not live by bread alone."
Elvis liked his sandwiches with peanut butter and bananas.

Thanks JoeP

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

How can you make fun of Jesus like that, comparing him to Elvis? Find someone else to make fun of if you really have to. please!! :-/

Donia said...

You guys obviously don't have any respect for the GOD. What you are doing is Idolatry and is a sin. I can understand that you may like Elvis very much, but please grow up and realize that Elvis was not perfect and was merely a man period..... Without the Lord our GOD Elvis would have never existed. So please have respect towards the lord and do not ruin images of the Lord or use his name in vain, as you have, apart from all of this remember God forgives, please remove these comparisons you have made.

Anonymous said...

Oh my GAWD! These comments are BIZARRO! You people are so uptight, get a grip!!! (I know, I'm going to HELL for mispelling god! OH NO!!! Now I used a small 'g' -- I'm DOOMED!!!) ROFLMAO!!!

These are exactly the kind of hypocrites that Jesus despised, and that vote for murdering, lying, cheating, warmongering despots like G. W. "God talks to me" Bush!!!