This morning I was standing next to a very fat fellow at a urinal when suddenly, for no discernible reason, he confided in me that he "Hadn't seen his 'thing' in 15 years."
Not knowing why he suddenly decided to confide such personal information to a complete stranger, and not knowing what to say and wanting to be helpful, I said,
"Why don't you diet?"
Giving me a surprised sideways stare, he said, "Dye it? WHAT COLOR IS IT NOW?"